Sai Maa – The Akhanda Jyothi of my life…

With silent messages and simple gazes when Beloved Bhagawan sets human values ablaze in many a heart, of the Balvikas cadre, it turns out to be an epochal happening where human hearts are lit with the effulgent eternal flame of His all-conquering love, resulting in blossoming human excellence…There are stories aplenty of such transformations…Read on Balvikas alumnus Dr. Revathi Jaisingh from Kerala narrating how Beloved Bhagawan touched her heart, bringing in the transformation.

Swami says, “Prayer is man’s only strength and God’s only weakness.” Swami’s infinite love – the nectarine bliss of His presence in my life – has definitely made life worth living.

When I was a child, I used to ask God what it would feel like to be loved more than I could ever imagine. Little did I know that a few years later, I would be basking in Swami’s Ananda Sagara. Bal vikas and bhajans paved the way, enabled me to see the Lord in my heart and realise that He alone is the breath of my soul. I used to be a very naughty child and often wondered if God really liked me. Soon enough, Swami showed me I was wrong.

I used to go roller-skating on the road and at the end of one lap had to cross the road. Fear used to grip me on seeing vehicles come from the opposite side and I would fall down. On one such occasion, I didn’t realise a truck coming from the opposite direction, and instead of crossing I fell flat down, right in front of the truck. I closed my eyes and thought this was the end. The next moment I saw the truck had somehow come to a stop less than a meter away from me. The happiness I felt that day was only because I realised how much God loves me … enough to save my life!

Another experience I would like to share is how Swami helped me to use music as a bridge unto Him. When I was young, I had a hoarse voice and could never hit high notes. I had to face several embarrassing situations on this count. And then came a time when I suffered from severe bronchitis and could not sing for an entire year. During a visit to Brindavan, my mother gave a letter to Bhagawan, praying to Him to take care of my music. On our return, I got an opportunity to sing a bhajan. I started the bhajan at a pitch way higher than my normal and started to mentally prepare myself for the embarrassment that would soon follow. Much to my surprise and to the others around me, I could sing all the lines at the right notes; singing at a higher pitch seemed effortless! Since then there has been no looking back. Swami gifted me with a new voice, with music, a gateway to experience Him and His involvement in my life as my basic life support.

Sometimes we don’t realise, but Swami listens to the minutest thought process within us. Swami started to appear in my dreams whenever I got terribly upset. He pacified me in times of sorrow, showered me with the warm embraces of a mother, advised me like a father and even helped me with my studies. Swami soon became everything in my life.

A State-wide selection for participating in bhajans was once scheduled on the eve of my science board exams. Swami has many a time revealed that when we submit our apparent problems totally at His Lotus Feet, He decides to take over. I made up my mind to attend the selection and prayed to Swami to take care of my exams. That night Swami appeared in my dream and asked me to learn a particular chapter from the ninth grade, which I did with all my heart. When I got the question paper, I was dumbstruck to see a question from that very lesson! To my pleasant surprise, I got 96% for Biology… which I could only dream of during school days. From then on I would happily attend bhajan sessions even if it was on the eve of an exam. The best part was, after chanting Vedam in the morning, all the topics that I would randomly look through just before entering the examination hall, started showing up in my question papers, right until my final year BDS. Such is Swami’s love. When I got the first rank in my final BDS exam, I was so shocked that I asked the authorities to cross check! My professor even asked me how I managed to get the rank! And all I can say is; Swami makes the impossible, possible!

Swami’s love is limitless … even when it comes to animals. Our pet dog fell sick due to a chronic abscess. She was like a sibling all through my childhood. She was unable to walk and I had to carry her and turn her over whenever she cried in pain. One fine day she got worse and I feared that would be her last day. Hoping that she listens to Bhagawan’s Name during her last breath, I started chanting the Lalitha Sahasranamavali and applied vibhuti on her. As I was approaching the last few hundred of the namavalis, she sat up for the first time in weeks and started making strange noises. With tears rolling down my cheeks I kept chanting thinking that her last moment was near. By the time I reached 985th Namavali she stood up. I was shocked. As I finished my chanting, she literally walked out of the room. She lived for three more years till she developed an abscess again and succumbed to it. Such is the power of Swami’s infinite love and vibhuti. Swami let this experience make me realise the true value and power of prayer.

So if Swami is there … fear is non-existent. Why fear when the greatest power of the universe is by our side, ready to take care of us at every step? I was putting off my trips to Prasanti Nilayam as I could not come to terms with not being able to see Swami’s physical form. I was afraid of having a nervous breakdown seeing the Mahasamadhi. On November 19, Swami appeared in my dream … a most vivid dream where Bhagawan appeared all pervasive and as real as could be! It was my trip to Parthi after the Mahasamadhi … and as Swami came for darshan, He came over to me and with the most enchanting smile and eyes overflowing with love, said “Everything is just fine! I will give darshan just as always…” He pointed at the Mahasamadhi, then at Himself and said, “Look! … I’m still here …! Why do you worry so much?” Who else but the Lord can assure us with such firm conviction? That morning all my worries came to an end.

Every step we take in life can only be due to Swami’s will and selfless love … we, as Bal vikas students should make it our mission to be the beacon, to spread Swami’s love and the saga of SAI. I dedicate this prayer to my dear Lord Sai, Oh Lord, take my love and let it flow in fullness of devotion to Thee, Oh Lord, take my hands and let them work incessantly for Thee, Oh Lord, take my soul and let it be merged in one with Thee, Oh Lord, take my mind and thoughts and let them be in tune with Thee, Oh Lord, take my everything and let me be an instrument of Thee.

II Samasta Lokah Sukhino Bhavantu II