Saturday, March 3rd, 2012
A happy home is where peace prevails between wife and husband…where life goes smooth with greater understanding. What is the role of a woman at home, and how best one can contribute in making it a “Sweet Home”? Mrs. Ganga Indira Pidatala from Hyderabad, India shares her views with invaluable tips given by Bhagawan in the interview room. Read on…
This story was narrated by our beloved Bhagawan to a group of devotees at an interview.
“Long ago there lived a saint called Tulsidas in the Maratha region. One day, he was sitting at home working on some verses that he was composing. (It was a bright day?). Suddenly, he called out to his wife and asked her to bring him a lantern. His wife calmly nodded her head and went into the house, where she lit up a lantern and brought it to her husband, who then asked her to place it on the desk. Tulsidas then looked at her for a moment and said,”Take it back! I don’t need it now.” His wife once again nodded her head and dutifully took the lantern back into the house.”
Swami, without completing the story suddenly looked up at a couple of us and asked, “If your husbands had asked you to do the same, how would you have responded?” Without waiting for our reply, Swami then changed the tone of His voice, and imitated that we would have resorted to jumping, frowning, sneering and attacking our husbands saying, “Are you blind? It is broad daylight, why do you need a lantern? You must have gone mad! Crazy fellow, Go get it yourself, if you want one.”
Swami continued imitating our response with “Can’t you see, I have been busy since morning taking care of your home, your kids and cooking food for you!” Isn’t it so? Swami asked us. We smiled meekly. You know us too well Baba, we thought.
Then, Swami went on to elaborate that education today calls for equality among all human beings. It is true that men and women are equal but, each one has an important role to play in their own lives.
Understanding this is the foundation needed for a happy life to be led between a husband and wife.
Each one feels “Why should I do this? Why can’t he do it?” or vice versa.
This is the thought that goes through our minds immediately when we are tired of doing something. From this thought erupts confrontation which leads to heated arguments, finally resulting in a rupture of family togetherness.
Swami said that the reason we are seeing so many divorces, and disharmony among families, husbands and wives today, is because of mis-understandings.
If one is able to adjust and understand one another on all counts, then there would not be any need for family courts at all!
On another occasion, Swami advised me on my marriage to my husband, Gopi. He said that as a follower of Sai, I should bring a good name to the home I was born in and also to my new home: that is the home of my in-laws where I shall be living for the rest of my life.
Swami said that most daughters feel that when they go to their in-laws place they lose their status as daughters, that they enjoyed back at home. On this aspect, He remarked that when you are entering your new home as a daughter-in-law, it is according to the law that you are entering your new home as a daughter. Behave like a daughter in your new home. Your love will definitely triumph and give you the status of the daughter that you feel that you might have lost!
At this point, I would also like to share a few thoughts that Swami had given to my husband and me too soon after our marriage that could be of some interest to the readers.
Swami told my husband Gopi, that trouble in a family erupts only when there is an involvement of the husband and the wife, with tempers riding high on both sides.
Swami continued to demonstrate this point by telling us to imagine that each of our hands symbolized the husband and wife. At this point Swami clapped His hands.”CLAP” came the sound. Then, He set aside His left hand and tried to clap. There was no sound but, a wave of cool breeze.
So, when both hands meet there is a loud noise indicating trouble. However, when only one hand is swinging, there was a cool breeze and no sound.
Similarly, in our lives, when there is a difference of opinion between a wife and husband, if one is patient when the other is in a bad mood, there is no chance of fights breaking out at all.
So, be cool and understanding. Don’t add fuel by showing your temper where there is fire already operating.
If you don’t do this, your home will burn! Swami advised that instead of flaring up, we should keep quiet for some time and let the reigning temper mellow down.
This will definitely help in controlling the situation. He further advised us that happiness and peace in a family will rule only when the lady of the home is happy and it is the duty of all the other members of the home, be it the husband or the children to bring in this atmosphere by reducing the amount of tension, and stress to the lady of the home.
Swami went on to elaborate that Marriage is basically a matter of understanding each other and nothing more than that … Today, in this vibrant world of downward plunge of ethics and values, the gospel of our beloved Mother Sai with regards to marriage is nothing but a greatest upadesa to make us lead lives of Happiness and Peace. These thoughts have made me realise that a home of happiness, bliss, harmony and peace lies in the hands of the lady of the home.
Today with Mother Sai in my heart, whatever problems arise in my life, I deal with them by a firm faith that He is always there for me and my home, that helps me in my life! If this thought has helped me …why would it not help you out there ? Let’s cultivate this in our lives and happiness will be yours.
II Samasta Lokah Sukhino Bhavantu II
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