”On September 29, 1961, Shankara and myself went to Puttaparthi. My mind was in turmoil. We had lost a case pertaining to some property in a prime location in Mysore city, in a lower court, which meant a huge financial loss to us. I rushed to my mother who had put up in the old mandir and apprised her of our predicament. Her reaction was predictably calm. With faith in Swami, which did not falter ever for a moment, she said, “We may be at an apparent loss, but Swami does everything for our good.”

We waited near the Interview Room to have darshan. Bhajan was in progress. Many were in the verandah for the interview. After quite some time, Swami came out. Seeing us, Swami told all the old devotees, ‘Go and attend the bhajan. I will have to see the new comers now. You can do only Padanamaskar now.” We did Padanamaskar and went to the bhajans.

On the next day, we waited near the Interview Room before commencement of bhajans. Swami called us. We went in. Both of us did Padanamaskar. He asked, “What happened?” I said, “Swami, we lost,” and gave Him the details. Swami asked us to appeal to the higher court. I said that it would cost more and we could not afford that much money.

Swami placed His hand on my head and said, “Swami is there. He will look after everything.” Later, He recited a sloka and said, “Do you know what Lakshmana prayed Rama? He prayed, ‘Rama, just as You use Adisesha as Your bed in Your manifestation as Vishnu, please keep me in Your proximity forever. Did he lack anything – wealth, kingdom, parents and wife? Still he left all those things and asked for Rama’s proximity. Similarly, you must yearn for Him alone. You will somehow, be carried through all other tribulations.”

I said, “Swami, always keep us in Your mind. Shall we try again, Swami? It either makes or mars our future security.” Swami advised us to appeal in the higher court. All of us did Padanamaskar and left.

We appealed in the higher court and lost again. Out grief knew no bounds. Terribly shaken, we came to Puttaparthi again. The next day was Monday and we sat outside the Interview Room.  After calling a few persons, Swami called us. We had gone there only to do Padanamaskar, but had the good chance of talking to Him. Swami came towards me and said, “Money, money, worries about money. Do you know what you should worry about? You should worry that you have not yet realised God.”

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I said, “Swami, I too worry about it.” Swami said, “Then why worry about this so much? As long as the purse was with you, you had to worry about it. Now that you have given it to Me, it is My duty to look after you. Should you worry still?” I said, “We should not, Swami. We worry about repaying all the accumulated debts. We just do not see any way out.”

Swami explained, “You are afraid because your faith in Me has reduced. If you had complete faith in Me, you would not have developed fear. Do you know what is atmarpana? Whatever may happen, you should relentlessly follow Him. He will do something or the other for you. He will somehow make everything all right. He (pointing Himself) can do anything. What did Ramadasa and others do? Only this much, isn’t it? Whatever punishment they underwent, they were relentlessly thinking of Rama.”

I said, “Even Ramadasa and others found fault with You when they had to go through unbearable adversities. What of lesser mortals like us, Swami? You are aware of the huge loss we sustained in the court case which was decided against us.” Swami, hearing this laughed loudly.

I asked, Swami, if You are really present in our hearts, how do we get such problems and worries?” He said, “Why? Didn’t Ramadasa and others face similar problems?” I said, “Swami, they could have committed some mistakes when You were not present in their hearts. We are sure we have not done anything wrong to deserve this fate.” Swami said, “When you take this human form, committing some mistakes is inevitable. But you should not think of those. Think of Him always.”

Swami said, “It is a pity that you have lost heart for such a trivial issue.” I said, “We are afraid of repaying the loans,” picking up the thread of the earlier conversations of the court case. Swami consoled, “Keep yourself calm. You will get the money to repay the loans. Is there a sky without clouds?… a rose without thorns?… a man without worries? I said, ”Swami, the thorn is not in contact with the rose. It is present, but exists separately. Please grace us so that thorns in us do not hurt others.” Swami said, “That is My job; I will do that.”

II Samastha Lokah Sukhino Bhavantu II

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To the mortals death comes as a big blow, for, it inflicts pain of separation from near and dear ones. Quoting an anonymous poet, Prof N. Kasturi wrote substantiating his statement that anything, which is born and grows, declines and dies…

…as soon as we are born our funeral procession started! Our heart is the drum. Our hearts beat like a muffled drum and the funeral march starts! So, birth is only the beginning of death!

With death defined as a consequence of birth and at birth man is given an opportunity to rediscover what he has  forgotten,  it should be man’s endeavour to dwell upon how best one could put an end to this otherwise unending cycle. In this modern age when man often fails to find out the real meaning of God’s greatest gift to humanity, the great sojourn called life, here in this ‘God’s Own’ village at Puttaparthi, an elephant by name Sai Gita has epitomized itself, to join an illustrious band of immortals, with its typified devotion!!! That is the inspiring saga of Sai Gita, Bhagawan’s pet-elephant whose sojourn on earth came to a spirited end at 1800 Hrs. IST on 22nd May 2007 after a lengthy script of glorious fifty years of dedicated service at His Divine Lotus Feet!

The following extract from SAI GITA …A MYSTIFYING TALE OF UNMATCHED LOVE published in Heart to Heart journal gives clear insight into the unsullied love and devotion she had for Bhagawan.

In the early sixties, the regular evening ‘appointment’ of Swami with Sai Gita was a sight which devotees looked forward to with great anticipation and elation. She would wait at the gate on the ladies’ side (where Swami’s car now enters Sai Kulwant Hall) and if for some reason Darshan was delayed, she would get very impatient. Twisting and twirling her tiny trunk, intermittently flapping her lotus-leaf-sized ears vigorously, and her swift and strong legs jumpy and restless, she would eagerly look at the Mandir unable to bear the delay.

Tears that rolled down her cheeks on many an occasion, her mischievous pranks acknowledging ecstasy at having been blessed to be in the Divine Presence, were testimonies to the unmatched love,  pristine in quality, she has had for her Beloved Master, Bhagawan,  that for sure would be envied even by human beings.

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It was not a mere coincidence that brought The Creator and His Creation together in the Mudumalai forest marking the beginning of this glorious tale of love. It was a Divine happenstance, a well-crafted Master Plan by the Divine that would have had its roots linked to many previous births that had made such a meeting possible.  Sai Gita is a Shuddha Brahmacharini (pristine and perfect celibate). She has come for Me, said Bhagawan once, at the end of a long arduous trial she had been forced to undertake at the instance of some senior devotees; she had been ‘reluctantly’ sent to the forest for breeding at the dogged persuasion of some senior devotees in the ashram for no positive result.

Sai Gita is history now and essentially a part of His-Story. In death body goes…but the soul, the indestructible divine essence in every being does move on, on a soul-search…and the soul of Sai Gita moved on to successfully find the bond beyond bondage, The Light that has been keeping her life a glowing fantasy that even exalted humans fail to achieve.

“Death is the denouement of the drama of life” wrote Prof N. Kasturi. For those who loved Sai Gita, her passing away would definitely mark the end of a drama in physical and leave a vacuum that would never be filled. Devotees would definitely miss her beautifully caparisoned frame majestically leading processions, her gorgeous princely gait, rare sight of tears of love rolling down her cheeks, the beauty of her being cuddled and fed by Mother Sai so affectionately, her unruffled nonchalant looks dissipating every passing thought into the gleam of eternity and lots more…. But, her footprints would continue her legacy in the hearts of millions who loved her so dearly. Sai Gita indeed lived a Life…Full!

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Adorned as a Little Princess
There came Sai Gita to Prasanthi Nilayam
Rejoiced Prasanthi in her endearing presence
…and struck a love tale…Creator with His creation
Echoed the song of her heart’s melody
L-O-V-E for Baba…L-I-F-E for Baba!
Gazing at Baba, she wept
The King returned ‘His Own’ to her
His Love was what she sought
His Heart was what she conquered
Knowing fully, still unknowingly…
She lived a Life…a Life Full…
Unruffled and nonchalant
Dissipating every passing thought
…into the gleam of eternity
Yet, in the end came ‘the end’
Denouement of the drama of life…
Yet, she survived the scare…death
Basking in the love of her ‘Sun’
At the end…she receded…devoutly
Into the clasp of eternity!
Into a Bond Beyond Bondage!
Farewell Oh! Dear,
Little Princess, Sai Gita!!!
We salute You, Oh! Little Princess!!!

For the passersby on the roadside, for those who pass by, to and fro Parthi, a peep through the gate to have a glimpse of the blessed elephant would definitely be missing from now on…one would peep to have a darshan of her samadhi hereafter, and there, one would feel her touch, her legacy, a feeling that would peep into the nostalgic past of her glorious sojourn.

Little clue did we have of the Divine Vision Bhagawan had while getting along with the construction of a ‘Sai Gita Mahal’, a new home for His pet-elephant inaugurated in November 2006. Reminding one of the story of Shirdi Sai wherein the Muralidhar Mandir constructed at the ‘instance’ and blessings of Baba had finally turned out to become the ‘Samadhi’ Mandir of Baba Himself, who had expressed His ‘desire’ to be ‘placed’ in the Mandir, the newly built Sai Gita Mahal was a would be Samadhi for the pet-elephant…and adding to this came the bonus; Bhagawan’s out of turn return to Prasanthi Nilayam skipping normal schedule of going to Bangalore… Indeed Divine Vision that eluded mortal’s blurred vision.

This she-elephant known for her nobility with cool and calm composure was taken for bath on the fateful morning and as one would call it, the call of time, she lost her balance and dropped down by the side of the bathing pond. It was an arduous task to help saving her precious life. Doctors and experts tried their best, but as clock ticked past, she was receding towards the exit point…and the fateful moment came at 1800 Hrs. IST…for her to join the Hall of Fame of the illustrious band of immortals, lived at the time of God Walking on Earth. She seemed to have got the message of Bhagawan rightly…

Be steady a moment; watch; catch; within reach the life-boat floats…

One could see hundreds of onlookers seeking to get a glimpse of the mortal remains of Sai Gita on the evening of 22nd, waiting outside the planetarium gate…and on the morning of 23rd May, Bhagawan straight away drove into the Sai Gita Palace just after 7:30 a.m. Bhagawan Who came out of the car, blessed the mortal coil of His pet-elephant by smearing Vibhuti on her trunk and eyes, and lovingly stroked her trunk for the last time.  It was indeed a sight to behold, a direct expression of Godly Concern and Love spurred out with fullest feeling, out in open. Indeed a Mystifying Tale of Unmatched Love!!!

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With Bhagawan’s watchful eyes scanning the entire proceedings, amid Veda chanting and bhajans by students and with thousands of onlookers silently praying with moisten eyes and sunken feelings, Sai Gita’s body was lifted with the help of cranes to the final resting spot, a pit specially dug in the Sai Gita Palace and was finally laid to rest following formal rituals. Yes, Sai Gita has drifted away, into the gleam of eternity…Leaving a life full of cherished memories…leaving behind a tomb, a memorial, Sai Gita Mahal.

A moment of stillness, a deep prayer from within, and a deep sigh…let this be our Tribute to our Dearest Little Princess…Sai Gita…

The epic Srimad Bhagavatham has a chapter on Gajendra Moksham, the story of elephant King Gajendra who chose to surrender calling out Lord Vishnu praying to save him from the clutches of a deadly crocodile that caught hold of him. No sooner did the Lord hear the sincere prayer that emanated from Gajendra, relinquishing his ego, Lord Vishnu started off on His vehicle Garuda to reach out the devotee. Whatever be the metaphorical explanation to this story, it does carry one message that God does respond to sincere prayers suffused with dedication and surrender. Here, in Sai Gita’s story, it was neither wail nor any distress call that made the Lord to come and spent considerable time by the side of His diseased pachyderm, watching the entire proceedings. Who would know the agony of the soul, the crying thirst to reach out its ultimate destination, other than The Real Master, Bhagawan Himself? She has come for Me, mentioned Bhagawan talking about Sai Gita on one occasion. Having fared well in her earthly sojourn, it was for the Lord to respond to her final prayers and reciprocating for her heartfelt prayers, came the Lord all the way to give her The Fitting Final Farewell!

We salute You… Oh! Little Princess, Sai Gita!!!

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Sometimes a moment’s insight is a lifetime experience. Sometimes it so happens that an event in the present may seem to reflect and signify an incident of the past. We, the students of Bhagawan, often hear Him saying: “You are My wealth and property. You are the apple of My eye. It is not these mammoth buildings that are important, but it is My children who have to be moulded and modelled to be My true messengers.”

Once, as our teacher was explaining in our prayer hall at Anantapur campus, as to how Bhagawan spends three fourths of His time on the students and the other one fourth on others, incidentally, an old incident sprang in my memory. When I was in my Secondary School at Parthi, it so happened that one fine day I had an inner urge and desire to eat a Cadburys Chocolate. I found myself a prey to this thought and desire. Luckily, my elder sister, who was studying in Anantapur Campus for Women, had come to Parthi for Bhagawan’s darshan. Utilising this opportunity during the darshan time, I requested her to get Cadburys bars for me and my younger sister who was then studying in the convent. But during the meeting hours, my sister didn’t turn up due to some unknown reason and I remained quiet, but was restive inward.

That very night, after dinner, I heard a sound of excitement in the lobby. As I went up there, I learnt that Bhagawan had sent something special for us. Obviously, I became very curious to know what the special Prasadam was. Looking at the long queue of children with their beaming faces, I approached the box. Lo and Behold! Cadbury Chocolates were being distributed to each student. I happily had my share of Prasadam without probing for any significance. Of course, I did thank Bhagawan within.

Next day, as I sat thinking on the same incident at the darshan ground, I was interrupted by my sister. She explained that she had actually brought the Cadburys Chocolates. As she was about to come to our hostel, she found that a girl who had fainted in the dormitory had to have chocolates. My sister experienced a satisfying happiness in her heart when she offered the chocolate to the girl. Then I informed her that Bhagawan had sent Cadburys to our school.

… And then we understood the significance! This benevolent loving act of Bhagawan really touched our hearts. We were filled with tears of joy and thanked God, with no words to express our feelings for the All Knowing Bhagawan. We learnt that only when we help and love others, we can expect benedictions from God.

Bhagawan comes down to our level and even goes deep down to solve our petty trivial desires. His main purpose in doing so is to ensure that, we, His students, may not stray away from the golden path—the way to our goal—Bhagawan. He sees to it that we are not disturbed mentally and waste time in ineffectual and futile things. Bhagawan is the Divine Lighthouse and our Beacon. Bhagawan is greater than our greatest need.

II Samastha Lokah Sukhino Bhavantu II

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“I know that it is easy for us to think that He does not care about any of us leaving. After all, there are new students coming in every year. That however is far from the truth. He feels the pain of separation many times more than we do. So kindly at least give a letter and take leave off Him before you go for your job.” These words of a classmate of mine had touched me deeply. I have no idea to this day why he said this to me but that is what stopped me from leaving Parthi on the night of March 31st.

It was the All Fools Day of 2005. It was the first day after I completed my Masters of Business Administration in Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, 2 years after I had set foot in Prasanthi Nilayam for the very first time. Two very memorable years as a Sai Student.

Bhagawan arrived in my life as a photograph when I was about 7 years old through the medium of my newly-wed aunt and uncle. My mother, more out of a need to not offend the new member of the family than any real conviction, explained to me that this is the photograph of Sri Sathya Sai Baba. He teaches that all religions are one and that there is only one God. He is the incarnation of the age. It was pure theory that she had read in some book.

Inspired by that statement at that easily mouldable age, I became very close to This Name and Form. No matter which temple I visited, I always addressed the deity as ‘Sai Ram’. This most pleasing phase however had to come to an end because a most dastardly thing happened: I grew up. The faith of the innocent child cannot face up to the half-baked intellectualism of the teenager. Why does He do miracles? Somebody told me that the aunt of a guy who is the neighbour of another girl who is the distant cousin of the close friend of the aforementioned somebody mentioned that Ramakrishna Paramahamsa was against miracles. Now that settles it. I am not His devotee any more. However there was a problem. I was (and am) addicted to that name.  I know no other name for God. Fortunately I have an alternative who shares the name. I can be devoted to Shirdi Baba. He is now not in this plane and therefore is beyond question. Convenient Rationalisation of Devotion. Boy, the teenage mind is muddily.

It was the final exams of the 12th standard board exams, the time when the devotion to the Lord peaks for all students of all and no faith. That is when I armed myself with the Sri Shirdi Sai Satcharitra. Completing the study of that awesome book, I could not pray for marks but could only yearn and pine and mourn over the fact that I was not able to serve Him. I then looked at the photo of Swami and thought to myself, ‘Yeah! Yeah! You are there. I know. You say you are the same Shirdi Baba but…’

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All these thoughts were fluttering through my mind as the bhajans started on that Apr 1st morning. Bhagawan had not yet arrived for Darshan. Morning Darshan was taken for granted on those days. Was it possible that He will not come this morning? I was to leave for Bangalore immediately after Arati. I had an interview scheduled the next day and I had to buy a good tie for the same.

Ever the restless mind, it moved from this thought to the final year of my Engineering – an year without any focus. The year I wrote GRE, TOEFL, GATE, CAT, MAT, BAT, FAT, HAT and any other exam anyone with an institute and a printer was ready to conduct. There was one more exam to write. I had a call letter from the college in Puttaparthi whose very existence I was not aware of till my mother, who was now a big time devotee, forced me to apply. I did not want to go. It is a college without girls. ‘What self-control are they going to teach us if they don’t provide any distraction?’, I questioned my mother. ‘Let us find out. Just for my sake, write the exam. We will take a call later.’, was the silencing reply from her.

Reluctantly, I had set foot in Puttaparthi in the sweltering heat. Clearing the written exam, we were assigned teams for the group discussion. The topic was interlinking of rivers and I quoted Rajini Kanth. Do I need say more? The interview went well and I was confident of making through but not of joining.

Two days later, from our home in Chennai, I called up the Institute with hopes that I had not made it through. That way, I need not make the decision. It would be made for me. “Unfortunately”, the voice on the other side was extremely Cheery. “SaaaiRAAAM! Congratulations. You are selected.” After the high that the words, “you are selected” gives, I was down in dumps with my dilemma again.  This was free education. If after getting selected, I don’t join, I will be wasting someone else’s seat.

After much deliberation, I summoned my parents (that is how spoilt I was) and said, let Swami make the decision. Pack your bags. We are going to Kodaikanal. Standing in the serpentine lines for Darshan, I held a letter with a huge multiple choice question in my hand asking Him if I should accept the admission in University of Texas Dallas, if I should attempt CAT another year, etc.. etc.., and finally if I should join MBA in SSSIHL. My mom came excitedly towards us and said that she has got token number 1 and will be sitting in first row and asked me for the letter. I was reluctant but logically I thought it made sense and gave it to her. Once we went in, we also got to sit in the first line. So my imagination went like this: Swami will come down for darshan gliding away in His impeccable style. Accept the letter from my Mother and on reaching near me throw it at my lap with the correct option ticked Miraculously. I had decided the Miracle for Him. Now that I had given the story, He just had to act His part. How simple I had made it for Him…

There were sounds of hushes everywhere interrupting the silence that had naturally existed in Sai Shruti (Kodaikanal Ashram) that day. Bhagawan came out and stood in the balcony. I sat transfixed at that self lit countenance. He did not come down. He did not take any letters. From the balcony He showed His finger and called someone. Someone else ran towards Him, with a loving but stern smile. He indicated to the disappointed devotee to go back to his seat just with His one finger much to the amusement of all. In the land of Rajini Kanth and Kamal Hassan, here was a person who could captivate you way beyond the Kollywood stars. My naturally hero worshipping heart had fallen for this personality. I no longer felt that I am going to a religious institute for studying MBA. I realised that I am going to spend 2 years in proximity with this Personality. That was a reason more than enough. Packing my bags again. Puttaparthi here I come.

(to be continued…)

II Samastha Lokah Sukhino Bhavantu II

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It was a bright sunny morning in Brindavan. Swami was standing on the pathway, in front of the Trayee Mandir, behind the lines of the students seated there, facing the deer park. He was talking to some of the senior devotees who were also standing close to the deer park grill. In those days, there were a lot of trees there, in a row. As Swami stood there talking, a small leaf from one of the trees slowly glided down through the wafting breeze and landed on Swami’s hair softly. Bhagawan did not seem to “notice” it and continued conversing with the senior devotees. But some of us sitting close to where Swami stood saw this and quietly nodded to each other with a smile. I, for once, thought in my mind how lucky the leaf was!

This thought was but a blip in my mind and almost immediately, as if He heard me “say” it, Swami turned back, took a few steps towards me, picked the leaf from His hair and said, “it is not the leaf, YOU are fortunate!” Saying so, He gently cast it on my lap. I was expecting a leaf to fall, but instead, a small fruit resembling a guava fell on my lap. As I sat with my mouth open in utter awe, Swami gave me a mesmerizing smile and moved on. It took some time for me to touch down to reality.

We all are very fortunate

We all are extremely fortunate to be so close to Him while the good Lord has taken Avatar. We are blessed to be able to speak to Him, touch Him, laugh and be part of His fun and sport. Sitting close to Him we can only marvel with utter adoration as He lays bare the greatest secrets of His own creation in so nonchalant a manner. But the greatest of our boons is to receive His wonderful thousand mothers’ love and grace in various forms. One life time just does not suffice for any of us to appreciate and bask in this breathtaking flow of grace of the Lord. Indeed it is the greatest privilege conferred on each one of us.

While we try our best to understand and realize the deep significance of such a wonderful blessing bestowed on us, it is but natural to revel in His leelas and mahimas (divine sport and glories) as they are verily His visiting cards, announcing at least infinitesimally, His love for us.

He is the caretaker

I always wondered how Swami takes care of people across the world and marvelled at His myriad miraculous ways of attending to and pleasing His children all the time. After we had completed MBA, some of us stayed back in Puttaparthi praying to Swami to give us a chance to live at His Lotus Feet and serve. Swami too responded favourably to our prayers and gave me and a couple of my student colleagues an opportunity to serve, albeit temporarily, in Sri Sathya Sai Gokulam (the cowshed in Prasanthi Nilayam).

We were very happy to be associated with the “divine” cows at the abode of Gopala. In fact, Swami used to address us as ‘cow boys’ too. One day, my elder brother landed in Puttaparthi for Swami’s darshan. During a conversation, he casually offered me money for my expenses. I felt a bit offended as the norm in our family was to not depend monetarily on anyone in the family once one completed his/her studies. So I vehemently rejected the offer from my brother and said “Swami is there for me and to take care of me in every way.”

This happened after morning bhajans at around 11 a.m. We used to stay in the old hostel in those days (now used for Brindavan boys as Hostel when they arrive in Puttaparthi). Even as I completed my statement, someone came rushing and said to me “Swami is calling you!” I was totally astounded because Swami had already retired for the session in the morning. In those days Swami used to stay in the Prasanthinilayam Mandir itself.

I could not really believe this but rushed to the interview room rather confused wondering what could be the matter. I walked straight into the interview room upon instructions and Swami seemed to be waiting for me there. As soon as I walked in and presented myself at His Lotus Feet, puffing and panting, Swami presented me with a couple of hundred rupee notes saying, “Keep this for your expenses.” My heart missed a beat and tears rolled down my cheeks spontaneously. I fell at His Lotus feet with my heart full of gratitude. Swami listens to what we say, no matter where we are. When we have trust in Him He takes care of us always.

‘Picture’sque Sai

Once when my brother had come from abroad for a visit to my home town, it so happened that all our family members were present in my home except me. I was studying in Puttaparthi at that point of time. My mother felt sad for my absence and went and sat in front of Swami’s picture in our home and cried out, “Swami, all are here; alas, only my son is missing”. I must add – I was totally unaware of all of these behind-the-scene developments. That very afternoon, in the mandir, Swami walked up to me and said “Your mother is crying for you; go to your hometown; stay for a couple of days and return”. Saying so, Swami gave me prasadam and asked me to leave that very evening. Obviously, everyone in my family was surprised to find me home the very next day.

Every picture of Swami represents Swami Himself and is not merely a picture. There have been many instances when we have had a problem and wanted a message or a prompt solution. That’s when life becomes picture perfect, so to say – someone totally unknown walks up to us and gifts us a pocket size calendar. On it is Swami’s beautiful smiling face and “abhaya hastha” and silently present at the bottom of such a picture is a message from our Lord. Invariably, the message is verily the solution we just needed! The answer we just were waiting for!

When we have an earnest wish or a fervent prayer and cry out to Swami sincerely, He surely is listening, waiting to grant it.

During my student days, I always tried to spend my vacation in Puttaparthi or Brindavan depending on where Swami was. But during one summer, Swami commanded me to go home and spend some time there.

Jagamele Paramathma (Lord of the Universe)

I wondered why Swami was driving me away and even felt very miserable and thought He did not like me to be around because I may have committed some mistake. Little did I know that He intended on teaching me yet another lesson by granting a very sweet experience.

One night after supper in my home, I went upstairs and lay on an old cot on the terrace. I was dearly missing Swami as it was only during the vacations that one could really get a lot of wonderful chances of being very close to Him physically, primarily due to less number of students being there. However, I just had no choice this time around as Swami personally had commanded me to go home. So, as I lay on this cot, the song that is very close to my heart came to my mind and I began singing it to myself. The song is a composition of Saint Tyagaraja going as – “Nagu momu Gana leni Naa Jaali Telisi Nanu Brovaraadaa” (Can’t you come and take care of me even after seeing my piteous condition of not being able to view and adore your beautiful smiling face). My favourite line from the song is -“Jagamele Paramaathma yevaritho Moralidudhu, Vaga choopaku Taalanu Nannelukoraa” (Oh Lord of the Universe, who else do I explain my predicament to? Please do not disown me. I cannot take it. Please take me close to you).

As I sang this rather stirring song by myself, tears welled up in my eyes and I cried out to Swami “Swami, why did you send me away?” Soon I fell asleep and I had a fantastic dream in which Swami walked up to me and gave a very beautiful smile and asked me to take Pada Namaskar and glided away slowly. There was no word exchanged and I woke up soon after with a jolt. I was pleasantly surprised with this sudden gush of grace showered on me as the dream seemed totally real. I had tears in my eyes with my heart full of gratitude. But the story does not end here.

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After my vacations, I returned to Prasanthi Nilayam. In those days, Swami used to beckon to the students sitting in the front rows of the darshan gathering to step into the interview room to arrange and stack up the saris and dhotis for distribution purposes. This, of course, was a great occasion for the boys to move closely around Swami, talk to Him and even succeed in getting a ‘padanamaskar’ in the end. Hardly a few days past the vacation, Swami called me into the interview room on the pretext of giving one of these chances to me.

As I was counting and stacking up the dhotis on Swami’s instructions, Swami slowly walked up to me, took my right hand into His, looked into my eyes and gifting me a very beautiful smile similar to the one He had given me in my dream said, “Baadha enduku, Jagamele Paramathma neethone vundagaa? (Why do you worry when the Lord of the universe is with you). It took some time for me to realize what had happened and I was totally dumbfounded to say the least. Soon my joy knew no bounds and I fell at His Feet and took a “padanamaskar” in Jagrada Avastha (waking state) this time. I couldn’t help but wonder which was more real – the ‘padanamaskar’ in my dream or this one at the interview room? The truth is simple though – reality is nothing but being in the presence of Pure Love.

Grace Marks

Achilles had his heels. I had mine. Being a science graduate, I always felt very uncomfortable with the mumbo-jumbo of business accounting in my MBA. In fact, I fared very badly in one of the semesters and in the final exam too felt I hadn’t done well enough to feel confident and comfortable of coming out unscathed. Little did I know that He intended on teaching me yet another lesson by granting a very sweet experience. I was scared that a very adverse result here would imply that my days in the college were numbered. So whilst most of my class mates eagerly awaited the results to check their brilliant performances, I on the contrary, was praying for a miracle so that the announcement of results would get deferred, sine die. But when you have Swami, miracles are but commonplace. Hardly a few days past the examinations, Swami called me for an interview and in the interview room chided me for faring badly in the paper and said, “I am giving you grace marks only out of my grace. Be grateful.” Needless to say, I cleared the term paper and arrived unscathed! My gratitude remains evergreen.

Kodai Treats

Swami’s summer trips to Kodaikanal are always extremely memorable for every student who has had this wonderful blessing of accompanying Him. I have been blessed with that opportunity a few times. Everyone accompanying Swami would get to experience the proximity of the Lord in all its hues – a pure mother’s selfless love, a father’s discipline, a friend’s intimacy, a guru’s attentive affection and Divinity’s omnipotence, omniscience and omnipresence. From the smallest of His acts to His seemingly casual utterances, everything arrived attached with a definite purport and purpose.

He would personally draw close to every student’s lunch plate to observe what he was eating and ensure that the student was served his most favourite dish just as a loving and caring mother would do. At another instance, He would chide a student “If you do not know how to shave without cutting yourself, how and when will you grow to the level of knowing the Para Brahman?”; this time more as a concerned father. He would expound the deepest insights from the Vedas, Upanishads, the epics namely, Mahabharata, Bhagavata, Ramayana, etc and with the same level of patience and passion, He would, on the other hand, descend to a learner’s level and explain how to do meditation step by step…. as an affectionate Sadguru.

On another occasion, He would quickly materialize the ring worn by the demon king Kamsa and as everyone reverentially admired the creation with wonderment He would quickly remark “Adore the creator, not the creation!” Ah, what lessons! We cannot help but just offer ourselves completely in total self surrender at His Lotus Feet. We can only pray to Him to grant us the intelligence and devotion to lead a life that will lead us all to merge into Him.

He is the In-dweller

Numerous incidents can be quoted to establish the fact the He is indeed the in-dweller of our hearts. Let me quote one here. Sometime back, I had to accompany my wife to the Super Speciality Hospital in Bangalore for her treatment very urgently. However, I wanted to pray to Swami for His blessings and permission to leave for Bangalore from Prasanthi Nilayam. I wrote a letter addressed to Swami and kept trying to give it to Him for three consecutive days. I was hoping that He would take the letter and then give me permission to go. But unfortunately for me, He did notice the letter but never did accept it from me. Then I left hope and dropped my plans to go because I couldn’t get His consent.

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On the fourth day, after evening bhajans (this happened on the 9th of Dec. 2007), Swami beckoned me to come forward and as I approached him, He asked, “Bangalore Hospital Povaalaa? (Do you need to go to Bangalore Hospital?)”. I knelt down and replied in the affirmative. It was the exact last day for my departure to Bangalore as per my original plans!!! Then, I drew up closer to where He sat in His chair, explained my wife’s condition and sought His blessings and permission to leave. Swami was extremely loving and gave me prasadam. God tests us till the last minute. He is the all-knowing indweller of our hearts and when you are least expecting, He showers His abundant grace on us literally drenching us in it.

Many of us would sweetly recollect those good old moments when He took us close to Him. In the beginning, would be the anguish of seemingly total rejection and dodging. He would pass by us, looking around and not at us as if we did not even exist, even though we were sitting right in front of Him. One moment, He would make us feel as though “we were the world” for Him. Another moment, He would conduct Himself in a manner as though “we never existed in this world”. He would lavishly praise us in front of the many accomplished dignitaries in the portico, while at another instance He would ridicule and admonish us for no “apparent” reason known to us. At that point of time I never understood the significance of these acts, but now in the company of hindsight, I have realized that all that Swami did was only to make us tough enough to face the various challenges in our lives. To maintain an internal equilibrium by greeting these challenges with a smile on our faces and a calm in our hearts, that was the lesson. Swami never ever did encourage a caster-oil face!

Kalaatheetha

Swami is no doubt beyond time and space and He has demonstrated this many times to many people – appearing at the same time in different places and doing the impossible. Once in Brindavan, I offered a letter to Swami and He gladly accepted it with a glee in His mischievous eyes. I did not understand the humour and wondered if there was something wrong with my face! But Swami moved on without a comment and walked out of Trayee Brindavan and beyond its compound walls to grant darshan to the hundreds of devotees sitting in the SaiRam shed, while we all waited for His return. After sometime, Swami slowly walked back. This time though, He had a big bunch of letters in His hand that He had collected from the numerous devotees. He moved gracefully, straight towards me and with a stare, pulled out exactly my letter from the middle of the big bunch and tossed it back at me and glided on without uttering a single word. I was rather stunned with this move and felt remorseful as I felt He had not accepted my letter. Later, I went back to my room and opened my letter to check if I had written something wrong that had displeased Swami. But amazingly, I did not find the original contents of my letter. Instead, I found 5 hundred rupee notes and a small piece of paper on which was written in Telugu “I am happy with your offering. Accept this blessing of Mine. Stitch clothes for Ugadi festival” in Swami’s own hand! When did He open my letter and read it? When did He write this note? When did He place the money in it? He is indeed Kalaatheetha!

The Master

Bhagawan always knew exactly when to contain the exuding over-enthusiasm of the boys. At the same time, He would completely encourage us enough to be ready to face all the odds. For example, in 1990, when Swami gave us a chance to serve in Gokulam, we were so enthusiastic that we would be extremely keen on showing off all our talents acquired in our MBA. From time to time, we would go to Swami to explain the results of our sincere efforts, showing the growth in productivity levels with various charts and statistics. But Swami was always keen on the welfare of the cows and offered very valuable lessons as to how to take better care of them, about their feed and medication etc. He always infused the right amounts of enthusiasm into us for us to give our best at work place, at the same time, providing purpose and focus to our efforts.

Omkara Swaroopa

Every member of the Bhajan group will fondly recollect His days with Swami as the bhajan sessions are some of the most wonderful moments in a student’s life. Here the student would get to offer himself and his talent at the Lotus Feet of our Lord. Swami too, would personally take special interest in watching who was singing a specific bhajan, or who was playing the tabla etc, in almost every session. A number of times He would very lovingly choose to correct the singers on their pronunciation, rhythm or tune. Another time He would choose to teach a lesson or two as well. For example, once when it was time for the bhajans to start, all of us began with Omkaram with Swami’s approval. Swami was standing at the entrance of the bhajan hall at this time. All the boys sincerely shut their eyes to sing the Omkaram the customary three times. Swami slowly bent over to my ear and softly whispered the ultimate truth “Here is the very embodiment of Omkara standing in front of you and what a shame, all of you are shutting off your eyes on me and singing Omkaram!” Wow, what a revelation!

Every moment that we have enjoyed in the Lord’s presence is a breathtaking experience of learning and growth. It is a blissful experience and a great inspiration to face the challenges of life, granting us immense faith in Him. Above all, every experience bestows total love and complete devotion for Him thus drawing us closer to Him and helping us lead a purposeful life.

This is not a dream, it is real!

It was early January 1989 when all of us were seriously preparing for the sports day celebrations. At the same time, even the intra-campus sports competitions were on for the Prasanthi Nilayam campus. I was very actively participating in a lot of athletic events that included the high jump and long jump events. One of the greatest motivation factor for boys to participate in as many events as possible was that if one landed a prize – be it a silver medal or even a consolation prize- one would receive it directly from Swami’s hands. To top it, one would get an opportunity to be photographed with Him.

So, whether one qualified or not, every one tested their mettle at almost every event – sports or games!

On one particular morning, soon after the march past practice, our Physical Instructor wanted us to wrap up the final of the Long Jump event as there was no time to organize this event later. Although all of us, the participants, were not totally prepared, we had no choice but to accede to the instructor’s request.

Even though I had received many prizes earlier for this event and was considered the favourite to win this event, I too was not prepared for this sudden announcement as I had not done the routine warm up that morning. Anyway, the event began marked for the mandatory three jumps, the best of which would be compared and considered for a prize. When my turn came, I too took the first jump but as soon as I took the jump I realized that I had landed on my left foot and soon understood that, either I had broken my ankle or had stretched a ligament. I just could not get up from the landing spot and had to be lifted and carried back to the hostel as I was groaning in pain. That evening in the hostel, I lay on my bed in my room feeling bad and crying for the unfortunate state of mine.

Thoughts were swirling in my mind, ‘While others had got three shots to get their jump the longest, I had to contend with only one, thanks to the injury. Any prize was but a distant dream. I had forfeited a golden chance of getting close to Swami to collect the prize. Secondly, because of the injury, I couldn’t attend any darshans. Atleast, not for the next few days. Indeed, I was in a real mess!’ Lamenting so, I turned to my left as I continued to lie down and covered myself with a blanket as I did not want anyone to notice me crying.

Very soon, I felt a tap on my right shoulder. I thought it would be one of my roommates and lazily turned to check who it was. Take a deep breath here and guess who it was? Lo! It was the Lord, the very Embodiment Of Love standing in front of me! He sported a very beautiful grin on His face. I was completely bowled over and dazed and looked blankly at Him. With twinkling eyes, a radiant smile and with a very compassionate voice He said, “This is not a dream, it is real!” I was speechless and kept staring at Him, not really understanding what was happening. As one may know, Swami does not normally just walk-in to one of the hostel rooms without prior notice or intimation to the authoritiesand that too in the evenings when thousands of devotees are waiting for Him anxiously in the mandir.

Swami was accompanied by Sri V.K. Narasimhan (the then editor of Sanathana Sarathi). Then Swami started explaining to Sri Narasimhan as to what had happened to me. How I had fallen down and stretched my ankle. He went on to say “This fellow thought he would not get the prize and so will not have the chance to receive it from My hands but he has bagged the first prize. Moreover, He was also missing Me as he could not come for darshan and that is why I came to see him!” I pulled myself to sit in a reclining position against the wall, but was totally bewildered and just kept watching the proceedings.

Soon Swami created Vibhuthi and applied it on my forehead saying “you will be alright soon. Do not worry.” I kept gazing at Him as tears flowed down my cheeks spontaneously. My throat was choked and I could not utter a word. I was so shocked at the whole incident that I even forgot to pray for Padanamaskar and express my gratitude. But Swami, a supreme Loving Lord that He is, came close to me, lifted His robe partially just a little above His Feet and asked me to take Padanamaskar. I grabbed His Feet, cried and washed His Feet with my tears to my heart’s content.

I always wonder – Will I ever be able to re-pay Him for all the love that He has bestowed on me? Or is it too arrogant on my part to even think that I could re-pay Him? Can I ever even match His expectations in terms of leading a life that He wants me to? One thing I can say – He has shown me that He has indeed created us and that He is the Ultimate Goal that we all have to reach. He has also shown me that the only way to reach Him is through simple innocent love offered with total sincerity. What can we do, really, to please Him? I can only express my feelings with the simple prayer that we all know:

My Dearest Loving Lord!

Take my Love and let it flow in fullness of devotion to Thee;

Take my Hands and let them work incessantly for Thee;

Take my Mind and Thoughts and let them be in tune with Thee;

Take my soul and let it be merged in Thee;

And Take my everything and let me be an instrument to work for Thee;

For, Thou art the Love of My Life and I am Thine forever.

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Samasta Lokah Sukhino Bhavantu